We would like to bestow an honor on Texans Quarterback Matt Schaub. Yes, there are a lot of talented players on the team but only Schaub has come through to fill a niche for how to tell people they’ve fucked-up a guitar solo in the worst way possible.
Now guitar solos are pretty tricky and they often require many takes to get it just right. Multiple takes can often lead to a gem of a solo but sometimes you just hit pure steaming pile of crap. So queue Clinton who was meticulously recording his solo for “C is for Cthulhu” last week. Most of the time the differences were ones of nuance. The solos were all good but one may have been slightly better than another or just had a better feel. But one, one particular take was just a horrifying train wreck. Out of the room burst the shout of, “Don’t Schaub that solo!!!!” Perfect! I was wondering what to call that!
So thank you Matt Schaub. Without your obsession with the Pick-Six, we would just have to resort to saying something like, “Dude, you messed up (or fucked up) that solo!” and without adding a modifier like “totally,” you’d just never bridge the divide between a minor error and an all out disaster. The verb to Schaub solves that ambiguity perfectly, leaving no doubt in your mind that the solo was so bad that only Gary Kubiak* would be crazy and arrogant enough to defend it.
Schaub: (Verb)
(1) The act of performing a guitar solo so atrociously that is leaves no doubt as to its lack of quality or competence.
